lost and confused

Lord.
you said i have to believe in order to receive. i want to believe. so why cant i believe? if i ask you to let me believe, would you give that to me? i feel lost. i feel confused. in whatever i do, i dont know whether they are the right things to do. whether they are glorifying to your name. i keep screwing things up. i keep putting myself before you. it seems as if it is more important that i do not make a fool out of myself than anything else. i dont like that feeling. Lord, i want to be the someone you want me to be. so please mold me and guide me. i guess it'll be hard and stuff. so i pray for strength and endurance. that i may not lose heart. that i will keep on going.

~
james 1:19-27
listening and doing
... everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for a man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires... do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourself. do what it says.. the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does..
~

so, what do i hear? what is the things i have to do?
- not to be so impulsive
- to endure hardship and believe
- to be a follower of Christ, a disciple.
- the great commission

is that it?

- to do what i have set out to do..

i pray for strength. i pray for courage. i pray for a determined heart, mind and soul. i pray for wisdom.
i pray for those who are weak and tired as well. please help them Lord. give them the sense of security and strength. i also pray for those who have been feeling sad. let them be able to find joy in their hearts again.

thank you Lord, for seeing me through today. for giving me a home, food, education, family and friends. thank you for the freedom that i have in my home and country.

im sorry for not being a "good" person today. im sorry for forgetting about you. let me not forget you and let me always put you first where you actually belong.

samquek